Friday, February 24, 2017

Let's Hex Trump!

Witches around the world will be uniting tonight to cast a spell on Donald Trump.

The ritual is to be done at the stroke of midnight on waning crescent moon ritual days, which are February 24th (midnight, Friday evening), March 26th, April 24th, May 23rd, June 21st (especially important as it is the summer solstice) etc. until Trump leaves office.


Unflattering photo of Trump (aka any picture of Trump)
Tower tarot card
Tiny stub of an orange candle (think one of Trump's fingers).
Pin or small nail White candle, representing the element of Fire
Small bowl of water, representing elemental Water
Small bowl of salt, representing elemental Earth
Feather, representing the element of Air
Matches or lighter
Ashtray or dish of sand

Next, you carve the name "Donald J. Trump" into the orange candle (or carrot) with the pin, arrange the other items in a pleasing circle, and lean the tarot card on something so it is standing up vertically. Then, say a prayer for protection to your preferred deity (the document suggests the 23rd Psalm because it has connections to voodoo traditions). After that, it is time to cast the spell.


(Light white candle)
Hear me, oh spirits Of Water, Earth, Fire, and Air
Heavenly hosts Demons of the infernal realms
And spirits of the ancestors
(Light inscribed orange candle stub)
I call upon you To bind Donald J. Trump
So that he may fail utterly
That he may do no harm To any human soul
Nor any tree Animal Rock Stream or Sea
Bind him so that he shall not break our polity
Usurp our liberty
Or fill our minds with hate, confusion, fear, or despair
And bind, too, All those who enable his wickedness
And those whose mouths speak his poisonous lies
I beseech thee, spirits, bind all of them
As with chains of iron
Bind their malicious tongues
Strike down their towers of vanity
(Invert Tower tarot card)
I beseech thee in my name
(Say your full name)
In the name of all who walk Crawl, swim, or fly
Of all the trees, the forests, Streams, deserts,
Rivers and seas
In the name of Justice And Liberty
And Love And Equality And Peace
Bind them in chains
Bind their tongues
Bind their works
Bind their wickedness

At this point, you are to light the picture of Donald Trump on fire and let it burn until it turns to ash as you passionately exclaim "so mote it be!" three times. If you do not like that phrase, you can exchange it for one of Trump's signature catch phrases, such as "You're fired!" Then you snuff out the white candle and end the ritual.

After performing the ritual, the document says it is important to have a good laugh at Trump's expense (think about how much he would hate being laughed at) and have a bite to eat (but not that carrot, though) because all that spell-casting is hard work. Then you are to discard the orange candle by burying it, discarding it at a crossroads, or in running water.

For more information and advanced rituals click HERE.

Wednesday, December 7, 2016

Scam Warning:

This company is a SCAM!

Repeat: This company is a total scam!

I would like to warn everyone not to do business with this company:

On November 18th they charged my credit card two payments of $3.95 and $1.00 and then on December 5th my account was hit with a charge of $99.95.

I NEVER ordered anything from these scammers and I NEVER got any products from them.

The first person I spoke with told me the account would be cancelled and the money refunded in three days. That was on Sunday. Guess what? I am still waiting for this credit. Meanwhile my bank account is over drawn and I am being charged a daily overdraft fee of $36 until this is resolved or until I get paid on Friday.

The rude woman I spoke with this morning told me her name was Katie and that only a manager could refund a charge. She refused to tell me the name or Employee ID of the person I spoke with on Sunday. She claimed there was no identifier in the notes. Hello! I have enough call center experience to know that if the call was logged it is associated with a name or ID.

This Katie person was a total cunt and did nothing to help me. As I am typing this I have been on hold for over 30 minutes. After a 30 minute wait I was finally transferred to someone named Joshua who claimed to be a manager. He refused to tell me the name of the website or what was allegedly ordered.


The charge on the bank statement shows as Ross Beauty Inc in NJ.

I have already filed fraud charges with my bank.


Thursday, October 27, 2016


The human and I will be making an appearance at the author's table at SpiritFest this Saturday at Shelby Park in Nashville, TN

Pets are welcomed so you might also get to meet the Harry beast live and in person, but be warned he's not about being petted and loved on unless you bring him food. Dude is all about the food.

We will have copies of our two non fiction titles, Give It To Your Guide: How To Connect With And Accept Help From Spirit and Everything You Ever Wanted To Know AboutSpirit BoardsBut Were Afraid To Ask. They will be $10 each or you can get both for $15.

We will also have copies of Odessa's Stories and Odessa's witchy coming of age novel, Demon Child. These will be $13 each or 2 for $25.

You can also mix and match and get one non-fiction title and one novel for $20.

Don't forget to bring a canned goods donation! Nashville Cat Rescue will also be there accepting donations. The Harry beast has promised not to bury any of the cats in his backyard or steal their treats.

Visit the SpiritFest website for all the exciting details.

Thursday, August 11, 2016

Spirits... Ghosts, Not Distilled...

I saw the above on Facebook and thought it was kinda cool. Yeppers, I am on Facebook if you want to hit me up with a friend request.

Any spirit guide worth his or her salt knows how to shield their human from not so good spirits. But not every human is quite in touch with their guide as my human is with me. We're there. We're listening. So, fucking talk to us!

Spirit boards are a good way to start to communicate with your guide. In fact, the human and I even wrote a book to tell you exactly how to use them - Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Spirit Boards But Were Afraid To Ask. Check it out and if you have any questions go right ahead and comment away...

Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Home is Where the Vodka Is...

I have to confess that my human is addicted to adult coloring books. If we are out somewhere and she sees one on sale it is as good as bought.

The above photo is a sample of her art work from Calm the F*ck Down an irreverent adult coloring book by Sasha O'Hara. Apparently swearing coloring books are all the rage now. I know who we might need to get the Swearing Cats one for, waves to Sheri and Pattie.

Coloring with gel pens is a lot of fun, although it can be more expensive than using colored pencils, crayons, or magic markers. The human swears by the Super Tip Crayola markers and about had an orgasm right in the middle of Target when she found a 50 pack on sale.

Llewellyn's even has a Witch's Coloring Book that is quite fun as well as educational. As much as my daughter used to love to color, I wish I had thought of the idea of making a little witch's coloring book. That would have been a great way to have taught her the proper color candle to use for spells and ways to celebrate the esbats and all kinds of educational material. How about a coloring book to learn Reiki? Damn if that one has not been already thought of...

Thursday, July 21, 2016


I am beyond grateful that my human possesses the gift of clairaudience. If not for that, ours would not be such a deep and wonderful relationship. Just in case you don't know what that is - Clairaudience is the ability to verbally communicate with spirit. My human hears me and all our spiritual guests as little, okay sometimes loud, voices inside her head.

We did a bit of research today to confirm something we have always suspected. Clairaudients are hypersensitive to external noise. Sound machines are a clairaudients best friend because these devices drown out what might otherwise be extremely annoying external noise. The human sleeps with one playing ocean waves and thankfully the company she works for has a soothing sound played through out the office.

Here are a few interesting links you can check out on the subject:

Clairaudience ~ Psychic Hearing
Hatred of Eating Sounds
11 Signs You May Be Clairaudient
Emotional Exhaustion Can Lead To Noise Sensitivity
9 Signs You Are Clairaudient

Number 3 on that last link was a huge, well duh, moment of clarity for the human:
you hear knocking, footsteps, creaking noises.

This is actually a sign that you can hear the movement of Spirit around you.

I don't know why that had never occurred to us before, but makes so much sense.

Before buying her home the human lived in an apartment complex below someone we'll refer to as The Stomper. Dude was doing some serious actual stomping, but some of it may have been spirit activity. Especially considering she sometimes still hears footsteps around her at night when there is no one human or animal (well other than the snakeys who don't stomp around) hiding in her attic.

In addition to that... fireworks freak her the fuck out. People at a distance talking too loudly. Kids crying and screaming in stores. Any type of repetitive noise. And dare I mention how her psycho ex used to have the TV on with a radio blaring and be watching something with audio on the computer.

It is a wonder she didn't commit ultra mega mass homicide.

So, what can you do help that special clairaudient in your life?

Shut the fuck up!
Give them quiet time and space.
Buy them a sound machine and insist they use that fucker religiously.

Of course, if you happen to be the spirit guide of a human with this wonderful gift it is a imperative that you learn to properly and strongly shield your human for excessive contact with chatty spirits.

We've found it works best that I make all ghostly visitors ring a rotary phone or door bell to announce themselves. That way the spirits get the human's undivided attention that they so crave, all why I am keeping my human's sanity intact.

Got any further questions? Shoot me a comment.

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Throwing Down The Nasty

My human and I throwing down with some dark magick tonight and I thought I'd share a little something I learned from my Tante Jubilee, Carmella's mother by birth and my from the heart. She learned this from Mamman Merci. If you've read any of the human's Ring Dreams books you might recall that name. Yeppers, she was a real person and quite the accomplished VooDoo Priestess in New Orleans. Tante Jubilee was a HooDoo practitioner herself, and yes there is a huge difference between VooDoo and HooDoo, but we won't get into that on this blog.

As you should know by now, the human and I take an eclectic approach to our witchcraft, picking and choosing from a variety of paths to go with what works best for us. The human has past life experience in VooDoo that she is just now beginning to embrace into the study of HooDoo. But that is a discussion for another day.

Today we shall discuss a special brand of revenge that we shall call our Throwing Down The Nasty Spell. This is for when someone has done you or yours wrong and you want to give karma an extra dose of justice.

There are several different oils you can use to anoint a candle for some dark magick, but none work better or is so easily at your disposal as your own urine. If you need to dominate or mark your territory take a lesson from your dog and use what comes naturally, your very own pee pee.

If you don't have a black figure candle you can use just a plain black candle.

Carve the name of the person you want to inflict your own special brand of justice on and then carve their name into the wax.

Then go potty and collect your special sauce.

Place the candle in a glass jar and anoint it with your urine and let it seep until you are ready to cast your spell.

There just so happens to be a full moon tonight. All the better for amping up your power and getting your witch on. A good thunderstorm will also work for upping your mojo.

If you are one of those bide the rede kind of chickas you might want to light a white tea light candle for protection. We prefer to light up a dark one to call upon our bitchy ancestors.

Call upon your powers however you see fit. As mentioned above me invoke our ancestors because none work better to protect you than those of your own blood.

State your nasty intentions aloud and light your candle. Hold the candle and pour all your energy and intentions into the flame. Once you feel your plea has been properly addressed leave the candle in the window to evoke the powers of a storm or place it outside to soak up the power of a full moon.

When your candle has burned your spell is complete and someone is in for one heck of a heaping helping of proper retribution.

You're welcome...