Tuesday, July 26, 2016

Home is Where the Vodka Is...

I have to confess that my human is addicted to adult coloring books. If we are out somewhere and she sees one on sale it is as good as bought.

The above photo is a sample of her art work from Calm the F*ck Down an irreverent adult coloring book by Sasha O'Hara. Apparently swearing coloring books are all the rage now. I know who we might need to get the Swearing Cats one for, waves to Sheri and Pattie.

Coloring with gel pens is a lot of fun, although it can be more expensive than using colored pencils, crayons, or magic markers. The human swears by the Super Tip Crayola markers and about had an orgasm right in the middle of Target when she found a 50 pack on sale.

Llewellyn's even has a Witch's Coloring Book that is quite fun as well as educational. As much as my daughter used to love to color, I wish I had thought of the idea of making a little witch's coloring book. That would have been a great way to have taught her the proper color candle to use for spells and ways to celebrate the esbats and all kinds of educational material. How about a coloring book to learn Reiki? Damn if that one has not been already thought of...

Thursday, July 21, 2016


I am beyond grateful that my human possesses the gift of clairaudience. If not for that, ours would not be such a deep and wonderful relationship. Just in case you don't know what that is - Clairaudience is the ability to verbally communicate with spirit. My human hears me and all our spiritual guests as little, okay sometimes loud, voices inside her head.

We did a bit of research today to confirm something we have always suspected. Clairaudients are hypersensitive to external noise. Sound machines are a clairaudients best friend because these devices drown out what might otherwise be extremely annoying external noise. The human sleeps with one playing ocean waves and thankfully the company she works for has a soothing sound played through out the office.

Here are a few interesting links you can check out on the subject:

Clairaudience ~ Psychic Hearing
Hatred of Eating Sounds
11 Signs You May Be Clairaudient
Emotional Exhaustion Can Lead To Noise Sensitivity
9 Signs You Are Clairaudient

Number 3 on that last link was a huge, well duh, moment of clarity for the human:
you hear knocking, footsteps, creaking noises.

This is actually a sign that you can hear the movement of Spirit around you.

I don't know why that had never occurred to us before, but makes so much sense.

Before buying her home the human lived in an apartment complex below someone we'll refer to as The Stomper. Dude was doing some serious actual stomping, but some of it may have been spirit activity. Especially considering she sometimes still hears footsteps around her at night when there is no one human or animal (well other than the snakeys who don't stomp around) hiding in her attic.

In addition to that... fireworks freak her the fuck out. People at a distance talking too loudly. Kids crying and screaming in stores. Any type of repetitive noise. And dare I mention how her psycho ex used to have the TV on with a radio blaring and be watching something with audio on the computer.

It is a wonder she didn't commit ultra mega mass homicide.

So, what can you do help that special clairaudient in your life?

Shut the fuck up!
Give them quiet time and space.
Buy them a sound machine and insist they use that fucker religiously.

Of course, if you happen to be the spirit guide of a human with this wonderful gift it is a imperative that you learn to properly and strongly shield your human for excessive contact with chatty spirits.

We've found it works best that I make all ghostly visitors ring a rotary phone or door bell to announce themselves. That way the spirits get the human's undivided attention that they so crave, all why I am keeping my human's sanity intact.

Got any further questions? Shoot me a comment.

Tuesday, July 19, 2016

Throwing Down The Nasty

My human and I throwing down with some dark magick tonight and I thought I'd share a little something I learned from my Tante Jubilee, Carmella's mother by birth and my from the heart. She learned this from Mamman Merci. If you've read any of the human's Ring Dreams books you might recall that name. Yeppers, she was a real person and quite the accomplished VooDoo Priestess in New Orleans. Tante Jubilee was a HooDoo practitioner herself, and yes there is a huge difference between VooDoo and HooDoo, but we won't get into that on this blog.

As you should know by now, the human and I take an eclectic approach to our witchcraft, picking and choosing from a variety of paths to go with what works best for us. The human has past life experience in VooDoo that she is just now beginning to embrace into the study of HooDoo. But that is a discussion for another day.

Today we shall discuss a special brand of revenge that we shall call our Throwing Down The Nasty Spell. This is for when someone has done you or yours wrong and you want to give karma an extra dose of justice.

There are several different oils you can use to anoint a candle for some dark magick, but none work better or is so easily at your disposal as your own urine. If you need to dominate or mark your territory take a lesson from your dog and use what comes naturally, your very own pee pee.

If you don't have a black figure candle you can use just a plain black candle.

Carve the name of the person you want to inflict your own special brand of justice on and then carve their name into the wax.

Then go potty and collect your special sauce.

Place the candle in a glass jar and anoint it with your urine and let it seep until you are ready to cast your spell.

There just so happens to be a full moon tonight. All the better for amping up your power and getting your witch on. A good thunderstorm will also work for upping your mojo.

If you are one of those bide the rede kind of chickas you might want to light a white tea light candle for protection. We prefer to light up a dark one to call upon our bitchy ancestors.

Call upon your powers however you see fit. As mentioned above me invoke our ancestors because none work better to protect you than those of your own blood.

State your nasty intentions aloud and light your candle. Hold the candle and pour all your energy and intentions into the flame. Once you feel your plea has been properly addressed leave the candle in the window to evoke the powers of a storm or place it outside to soak up the power of a full moon.

When your candle has burned your spell is complete and someone is in for one heck of a heaping helping of proper retribution.

You're welcome...

Wednesday, July 13, 2016


Today's reading is from Goddess Guidance Oracle Cards and is most fitting since the human will be dealing with a legal issue next week.

Maat is the card of fairness.

"This situation will be handled in a fair just manner," says Maat.

Message from Maat: Let me suggest another definition for fairness: It's when all parties involved surrender their personal agendas in favor of the greater good for the entirety of the whole group. This requires trust in the wisdom of the whole. When it comes to matters of disputes, the attacks are based on fears that you may not receive your share. Yet, attacks amplify the hurt and the pain that caused the dispute in the first place. Why not surrender your attachment to a specific outcome, and instead, direct your holy will toward the resolution of the argument? Hold a firm vision of a peaceful outcome, and let the pieces fall in a harmonious manner.

Various Meanings of the Card: A lawsuit will be resolved. A dispute will end harmoniously.You'll be treated fairly. Keep everyone's needs in mind during negotiations. Release guilt and shame, as these emotions can attract a punishing attack.

About Maat (pronounced Mat); Maat is the Egyptian Goddess of integrity, fairness, and justice, who holds a scale that measures souls against a feather at the right time of death to detect any heaviness from guilt. Maat protects us in business and personal relationships, ensuring that we're treated fairly and honorably. Call upon her before signing any contract, during a dispute, or whenever you feel guilty or remorseful.

Tuesday, July 12, 2016

The Thinking Woman

I've never been much of a card reader, but today my Energy Oracle Cards caught my eye, so I decided to pull one and see what gives.

Today I drew The Thinking Woman - the female of wisdom and understanding.

Upright (which mine was):

This card shows a woman holding a book, standing before a staircase, ready to lead you to higher understanding. This woman could be a friend who helps you express and understand your feelings, or she could be a teacher brought to your life at this time to take you in a new direction.

This could also be a new love interest with a woman who is thoughtful, conscious, and aware. Or, like The Thinking Man, the card coul represent a side of yourself that's ready ro blossom and bring clarity and assistance to the world. If so, find your voice and let your wisdomshine.


The card reversed could represent a difficult time for your own personal growth. You may be feeling confused about your personal purpose or disconnected from your heart's true path. Look within and open up to your own inner guidance. Trust your intuition about what you need to learn in order to move on.

The Thinking Woman reversed could also indicate a woman who is misleading you or giving you misinformation of some sort. Be aware and set boundaries. Remember your own spirit us always your best guide!


I open my mind and heart to my own inner wisdom. I am thoughtful, focused, and clear.

Tuesday, July 5, 2016


Free might be just another word for nothing left to loose...

If you've not read my little book, Demon Child, yet then you need to surf on over to Smashwords and download it for zaro dollars and zero cents, nada, FREE...

Did I happen to mention that is is absolutely Free?!?

The human also has several of her titles on sale. Some of them are even free and all are deeply discounted.

So what is the catch?

All we ask is that if you enjoyed your free read please leave us an honest review. That's all you have to do. And you don't even really have to do that. It would just be a nice little thank you for all our hard work.

Happy reading, humans...